Explore the unique perspectives on grief and loss within the neurodiversity movement, embracing diverse emotional experiences as valid and important.
by Erica Ishmael, LPC, MS-ED – Open Access Therapist
In the pursuit of understanding neurodiversity, we often encounter the principle of “differences, not deficits.” This concept invites us to reinterpret behaviors and emotions in the medical context. Today, we will expand this understanding to the realms of grief and loss, acknowledging the varied ways individuals experience these profound emotions.
Alexithymia and the Challenge of Identifying Emotions
Alexithymia is a condition that hampers one’s ability to identify, feel, or describe emotions, which we’ve discussed in a previous newsletter. For those experiencing alexithymia, understanding and expressing the emotions associated with loss can be especially challenging, often leading to a more intellectualized approach to feelings.
Varied Emotional Expressions
Emotions are inherently complex and do not always appear in expected ways. One might experience intense sadness without tears, or happiness without smiles. Emotional responses can be paradoxical, such as crying without sorrow or laughing during solemn moments, and they often arise unexpectedly.
Personal Relationships and Grief
The depth of our relationships significantly influences how we grieve. The connection with someone we rarely meet can be as intense as with those we see daily. The grief experienced is thus not necessarily proportional to the frequency of interaction or physical proximity.
The Somatic Experience of Grief
Physical manifestations of emotional stress are common after a loss. These somatic responses can include appetite loss, sleep issues, and even acute symptoms like pain or dissociation. Acknowledging these physical reactions as part of the grieving process can help in coping and understanding.
Supporting Diverse Grieving Processes
It is important to recognize that there is no uniform way to grieve. Everyone’s grieving process is influenced by their personality and life experiences, and all responses are valid. Supporting someone in grief means respecting their unique way of processing loss.
The Importance of Self-Care
During periods of grief, self-care is crucial. For some, this may mean taking time alone to reflect or simply exist without external pressures. Embracing self-compassion is essential, especially when we struggle with concentration, calmness, or maintaining energy levels. As we delve deeper into the complexities of grief and loss through a neurodiverse lens, let us practice and promote grace towards ourselves and others. Each unique experience of grief is a legitimate part of the wide spectrum of human emotions and deserves respect and validation.